Can I please get a break? Like every time I think life will be okay, I am wrong. So much is happening. I need to get a new job. I also had to cut people out of my life who said that they would be there for me. That has been the most difficult change of all. I used to talk to them every day and now I can't. They want nothing to do with me anymore. I cry on and off because they used to be such a big part of my life. It is so weird that they are not here anymore.
But that is life, right? It is one big constant change always changing. Some people say that is what makes life fun. I am unsure if that is how I feel about it. But I keep going because who else will continue? Only I can keep going. For myself. I still have everyone else. 7 billion people on the planet and there is always someone. Someone who can be the next new best friend is always there ya know? I hope things get better. I feel so exhausted mentally as always. But, I still can't stop moving. Like a shark constantly moving. I keep writing down words of affirmation. So far it has worked for making new friends. I have met a few new people in the last month. I will say I am happy to meet new people ya know?
Being away from them is helping me to learn more about myself. Mostly I have learned I am so burnt out from surviving most of my life. I have learned more positive stuff about myself. I am scared but I am brave. I am a kind person. I do really enjoy exploring. I also need to learn to be okay with being alone. That has been the biggest one to learn. In doing all this I have found out I don't take anything from people. I won't let them bully me or speak ill about me. A lot of character development has happened in the past year and a half. I don't regret much. Mostly not reaching out to an old friend sooner.
So with all that being said I am still here. Still going. Still learning more about life. So many new people to meet and connect with. I can't wait to see how this life turns out.
