Yesterday I had been thinking about what use to make me happy. Because I haven't been feeling like myself lately. Then I started thinking reading used to be a happy place for me. I use to read all the time. I could not get enough of it. And over the past 2 years, I have changed. Like everyone does. But, I have changed in a sense of losing a part of who I am. I want so badly to get her back. I say her because when I was growing up I was very anti-social. Talking to people gave me anxiety. Asking for help gave me anxiety. Even just the thought of talking to someone or asking for help gave me anxiety. My anxiety was bad. I would get a lot of panic attacks so making friends was hard. So one day I thought to myself that I would make up a friend. Like, have an imaginary friend. So in a way who I use to be was her. If that makes any sense. It probably doesn't.
That's how I would be growing up. Talking to people was hard and I would get teary eyed and almost start to cry. It was bad. It is not as bad anymore. Thank goodness for that.
So yesterday I downloaded almost all the books I use to read. The books I use to love and some were books I have been wanting to read. I am thinking about doing another page on here. For after I'm done reading them and doing a book review. Most being my favorite classic books. I know they have already been done. But, I think it would be fun.
So hopefully reading those books again I will find a little part of me again. I think its good to go back to what you use to love. Because chances are you might still love doing it.
Same being with writing in a journal. I also use to journal my day every day. It did not matter what my day was. The boring days and the days of even just watching movies. I use to write. It helped me to write down how I felt about things. I was able to get it all into sorts. I recommend journaling it really does help to get your feelings out and keep track of how you feel. I use to have journals and diaries up since 2004. But, sadly lost them in a move years ago. I say years but, its more like 2 years. So starting over again. Hopefully, this post was not too rambly. I never really know how to end these. same with my videos.
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Thursday, February 7, 2019
;{)
Hey, it is me. As you can tell and it been a while. So two days ago I made my first YouTube video again. I have gained a couple new subscribers. So that is exciting. Tomorrow I'm going to try and film a vlog and then edit it. I don't know much about the editing but, I'm trying. That's all one can really do. So if you are a subscriber then thank you for subscribing. I will do my best to try and not let you down. Hopefully, I edit it okay. Maybe not a vlog maybe a coffee talk. I don't know what I'm doing. I did take some notes on a couple topics. I could talk about those.
See this is what I meant. I really do kinda suck at this. I am trying and I am going to continue with posting videos. It just might take me a long while to get n the groove of things. Like it did for me here. But, maybe my platform is better on YouTube. Rather than typing here. Since no one really reads this. Seriously if anyone does read this. Hi and thank you so much for reading and being with me on my life journey so far. ❤
It does mean a lot. Because it tells me someone is listening. It is easier to get my thoughts out on here without all the stuttering and long pauses and such. But that is me. Even talking to me in person I stutter and forget what I'm talking about half the time.
I just hope filming myself will help me with being shy and stuff and hopefully, I learn how to edit my freakin videos. Noted that filming on my laptop to then edit does not work and I need to film on my phone. I feel so much like an armature LOL
Like so don't know what I'm doing. And well that is the purpose of the videos and these blog posts. To show you-you don't need to know what you are doing in life as long as you are enjoying life.
As I'm typing all this I'm thinking I need to go to bed but really its almost 5 minutes to 8. It is not even late. Like not even close. Although I might just sleep earlier. #livinglikelarry
See this is what I meant. I really do kinda suck at this. I am trying and I am going to continue with posting videos. It just might take me a long while to get n the groove of things. Like it did for me here. But, maybe my platform is better on YouTube. Rather than typing here. Since no one really reads this. Seriously if anyone does read this. Hi and thank you so much for reading and being with me on my life journey so far. ❤
It does mean a lot. Because it tells me someone is listening. It is easier to get my thoughts out on here without all the stuttering and long pauses and such. But that is me. Even talking to me in person I stutter and forget what I'm talking about half the time.
I just hope filming myself will help me with being shy and stuff and hopefully, I learn how to edit my freakin videos. Noted that filming on my laptop to then edit does not work and I need to film on my phone. I feel so much like an armature LOL
Like so don't know what I'm doing. And well that is the purpose of the videos and these blog posts. To show you-you don't need to know what you are doing in life as long as you are enjoying life.
As I'm typing all this I'm thinking I need to go to bed but really its almost 5 minutes to 8. It is not even late. Like not even close. Although I might just sleep earlier. #livinglikelarry
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)