Canceling my subscription to adulting

So these past few weeks I have been doing adult things like applying for jobs. Something that sounds so simple gives me such anxiety. The mere thought of it makes my heart pound.
Now I have already applied to two jobs already and am waiting for them to get back like they have said they would and that is giving me anxiety. But this is something I have to get over. anxiety is hard to get over. Plus it feels like I'm on my own with all this and it's a scary feeling.
I am feeling like I will never get a job and I'll be this loser who can't do anything. Even though I really am trying right now. Harder than I ever had. Like I am searching. I am going, to be honest with you guys and am trying to be real. I haven't worked in a while. And my mom helped me with applying. So this all is hard because I don't know what I am doing. I don't know where to really go. When I tell people that they are very shocked I guess it would be the right word to explain. They then proceed to say things like "How do you not know this?" and "Really?!?" 
I did not really learn that in school and Googling it was very overwhelming, to say the least. I don't know how to be an adult and it scares me to death and it overwhelms me. I try to tell myself to "toughen up" and " Other people have it worse than you so stop being a bitch and figure it out"
Yeah, it's bad. I have these thoughts in my head 24/7
So far today I have only managed to cry 2x. So I see that as a plus. I mean yesterday I cried myself to sleep from the anxiety.
Whoever set me subscription up for being an adult I hate you and I want to cancel now. Seriously where do I go to cancel?!?
Because now I am just starting to feel pressured into feeling like I need to save up money pronto and get an apartment and things like that. It is very stressful and on top of all that I get in these moods where I want a baby and to be a mother. That is stressing me out as well. Because I'm not mentally able to take care of a baby. Let alone myself.
If any of you have advice on adulting please please please leave a comment. That would mean so so much cause I'm still am freaking out.

I'm weak for asking for help

I have felt this week that I really need to buckle down and get shit done. To make things happen that I want to make happen. It can be scary to do things on your own but it does not mean you have to actually be alone. If you get stuck it's okay to get help and have someone help you. I keep forgetting that. I keep thinking that I have to do everything alone. That's not the case at all. My family will always be here to help me if I need it.
I have been so scared for a while now thinking that when I become this independent person that I will never be able to get help when I'm stuck. But, I can.
So from this point forward in my life, I will ask for help if needed. And that being independent does not mean that no one will ever help me. I do think a lot of people forget that. I forget it. And with society being a certain way it always feels like we are being judged. Like when we ask for help that feels like we are weak. When that is not the case. It is very brave to ask for help when needed. It does not make you a weak and feeble person.
I just need to remember all this. So now its time to go out and brave the world.