Interview pt.2

So I think the interview went alright. It was more of a tour. On like how they do stuff and where everything is. After the tour they said they will call back in a few days to let me know. I really hope I get it. 

After the interview I walked home. I went and got a coffee nearby and walked home. The GPS took me through this trail and it was so nice.  I walked just about half that trail. Saw some really cool art that I wish I would have taken pictures of. I only took one photo. I am sure I have it posted to my nuggget2.0 account on Instagram 

I did realize while on that walk that I do miss walking. I need to just go out and walk. Just pick a direction and walk. I felt so relaxed after that walk. I came home home ate a snack and relaxed a bit before my shower. 

Hopefully I get this job and if not I hope I land another interview soon. 

Today is my interview

 I am so nervous today. I have a job interview. I am feeling so anxious, mostly because I am not sure how I am going to get there and back. I can't wait to start making money again. I am thinking about walking back. I know it's crazy because it's over an hour of walking. Uber is so expensive right now. I don't have the money to get an Uber for there and back. So I might be walking back. It will be fine. I plan to try to get there 15 minutes before the interview starts. I will have plenty of time to get there and calm my nerves for a bit. I feel like it has been years since I have had a job or gone through an interview. Drinking coffee is not helping. Instead, it is giving me multiple bathroom trips. I am so anxious that I did not even do my workout. I just went straight to doing my makeup and planning out my outfit. I made it up with layers, so I will be comfy for my walk home. 

1 hour and 23 minutes, I will have to walk, and Uber is like $14.99 pre trip. I still have groceries to get tonight. So why not do what younger Nugget would do? Walk it. I am charging my phone right now so I will have plenty of charge for all the music I plan to listen to. I will most likely feel a ton better once I am back home or even walking home. I even packed sunscreen as well. 

Now I wait till 11 when I start to get ready, then it is just sitting and waiting to go. I have to be there @1pm today. I am so nervous. Okay, I will either update this post after I get back and have relaxed a bit, or I might make a whole new post, so stay tuned. Depending on some stuff, I might also post pictures on here as well. Talk to you soon loves <3

Learning to self love

 I have decided to start learning to love myself. I have tried in the past, I haven't really loved myself. I am going to treat myself as I might love a best friend or a partner. I realized yesterday I am awful to myself and I don't want to become so bitter that I then start to treat other people badly.                                                                               So today after I get done with the things I am supposed to. Like applying to even more jobs and pilates. ( I am devoted to doing pilates everyday this year) I plan to go on a short walk and just be with my thoughts. Like the way I am thinking about this is like dating myself. To get to know myelf again. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. What do I  like and dislike? Who is Nugget? Well I am going to find out this year. Is it weird to be nervous about it? I don't know why I honestly don't. Time to get back into things and become a better person. 

Speaking of like jobs and such. I revamped my resume and hopeful with a tiny bit of lying I can get a job. Yo girl needs money. Maybe not need but I really want money. So I can buy stupid stuff. Like what? you may be asking outloud right now. Like candy and a baby carrier for my cat. But, also to keep myself in lighting thats kinda important. Maybe important. So pray with me to the job gods that I get something soon. I need to start doing stuff outside these four walls. And I need to start enjoying my own company as well. I did enjoy myself yesterday. I did my workout and it was so nice. I am super sore but it was nice. So I want to get back into walking as well. To help more mentally and to see where I can take myself on solo dates. I do have a few gift cards to use up for coffee. I am starting to get excited with this. okay okay I am going to start doing what I need to do then head out. So stay tuned guys. I will be trying to stay consistent with myself. Devoted to me now. Woo 

Afternoon and coffee spoons

Life lately has felt so overwhelming. I hardly know how to go about life. When I think I know what I am doing my mind then turns on me. I wish to understand what I am supposed to do? What exactly is my purpose? The more I exist the more I wish to just end things. Yet I don't. Because I am alive therefore I have some sort of understanding and purpose. 

So I cook and bake and apply to jobs. And I get nothing in return. But, I am still here. I drink and drink to fill the hole in my soul. The bittersweet memories of longing. Longing to be someone something. 

Yet here I am on my 9th cup of wine. Hating who I am. Surely I am of a deeper meaning. Or is this just a drunken rant? Who is to say? 

All I know is I wont ever be the same. Evolving and changing. Morphing I to someone I hardly recognize. Am I good or bad or in-between? I will never know. Eating and eating like the caterpillar we all know. Metamorphosis changing but hardly. Looking on the inside in. I mourn who I am who I never will become. Tragedy is all I will ever know. 

My 2026 Goals

So earlier this month I made a list of goals to try and achieve for this year. Like working out and gaining a bit of muscle. I have been somewhat consistent with it for 2 weeks. I will admit I do feel good after. Here are the others I want to achieve. 

1. Piercing my Bellybutton 

2. Read more books

3. Explore my city a bit more

(This one is going not as I have planned)

4. Get a few more tattoos 

I hope to be able to check these off by the end of the year. 

Mostly going out by myself on walks more. I don't want to be scared on the city I live in. So at least once a week I plan to walk by myself more. See all that there is to see and learn to be my own best friend. I need to be there for myself more. Learn to sit in the silence and know it will be okay. I will be okay. This life is the only one I have. So YOLO. I really am hoping that I get everything done on my list this year. First thing is first. The thing that has been stressing me out and making me depressed the most. That dang job. I swear it feels like employer's want to complain that no one wants to work. When in reality they dont want to hire people. I don't know why? Because I feel I am a hard working devoted person that gives my all. 

That's a tale for another day though. Until then I am keeping my head up. Trying to not give up. Thank you to the few people who are reading. You are appreciated truly. 💕

I'm back (Again)

I am back and still as sad as ever. Since I moved I am back to being unemployed. Its fine its fine 🙂 

I have applied to just about everywhere. Haven't heard back from anyone. It has me feeling pretty down. I am trying to keep my head up and think on a positive side. But, unfortunately for me I can't think that way. I thought maybe I could write here for a bit. Like how I use to. 

If anyone is reading this I could use ideas on what to post. Maybe one day I'll start to vlog if anyone would want to see that. I could use any help I can get in all honesty. Until then I hope to get this blog back up and having a decent following again.