I have been killing myself

I am so tired of being tired and anxious all the time. All I do is stress over everything. I am doing what I can in life with job hunting and such. It's all I can do is do the best I can. Yet because I feel so compelled to be this perfectionist it makes my anxiety worse. 

And most of all I am sick of being scared of the unknown. I don't want to be scared of the unknown anymore. I want to explore the unknown. Because it can go good. It can help you be stronger as a person by learning from your mistakes. 

I have been giving up on myself because I am scared of change. Scared of the unknown. but, if I keep going and keep at it I can do great things for myself. 

So this is what I am going to do. I am going to build a routine for myself. morning and night. I am going to change my thinking habits. I do have this. I am going to do my best to be the best I can be for me.

Because I want to be able to do great things in life. 

I am not sure if any of this made any sense or if  I was just word vomiting. But, yeah time to make some changes. I have been giving up on myself. Been without realizing till this week that I have been being self-destructive to myself. By not getting enough sleep. Not getting enough water and not eating the best. This being not eating enough or actual meals. So it is time to take better care of myself and see what happens.