I don't make a lot of money and doing things are hard by myself. I am trying as hard as I can. I am working on getting a better job to make money to support myself. I am working on getting another place that I can afford. All without driving because even though I am 22 I don't know-how. It's not because I don't want to its because I never got a chance in the past to try to learn.
No, I am not taking the bus. I don't really know how to ride the bus either. I walk everywhere and I take the very expensive Uber.
Yet that makes me feel like I am a failure same as not having money or a car. people like to point out things like that to me. Or they tell me the popular "When I was your age" That does not help. I get it I am not as successful as you. I am trying to figure everything out.
I try to not let it get to me but, it does get to me. Words can hurt no matter how many times I tell myself it does not hurt. But, hey if you lie to yourself enough you will believe it. Right?
I am already trying to convince myself that I am strong and independent. It works some days other days not so much. Other days I look in the mirror and cry because I don't have anything together and that I am no good. I hardly have the funds to keep myself alive and keeping rent is a joke. I am flat broke. Every penny goes into rent. That when I spend money on food I feel guilty.
I get it life is not fair. I get it. Please stop telling me that. Like I said I am trying my best. Will it ever be good enough? Will I ever be good enough?
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